Infertility often creates one of the most distressing life crises that a couple has ever experienced together. The long term inability to conceive a child can evoke significant feelings of loss. I have four friends who are facing this problem and all of them are coping with this problem differently.
The multitude of medical decisions and the uncertainties that infertility brings can create great emotional upheaval for most couples. One of my friends is so depressed because of social and family pressures that she is keeping herself in a cave, metaphorically speaking.
But that’s not a solution to any problem. If she won’t discuss things, probably she won’t realize about the many options available. It is important to keep yourself aware at such a juncture instead of shutting down so that one can find best solution. Who knows there is a light down the tunnel?
Two of my friends are dealing with it very positively. They are not blaming themselves or each other. They take things normally and stay cheerful always. They have actually made their mind that the last thing is always in our hands and that is adoption.
I think that’s perfect because getting pregnant is not the only way to be parents. Really hats off to one of my friend who has gone through five operations and had been to all the best centres but I never saw her crying and her husband is so very supportive.
Everyone has feelings and emotional ups and downs as they pursue infertility treatment. But being negative can always make matters worst. And I have seen women suffer more than men in these situations because of the way we are raised, the beliefs implanted in us.
Okay, let me tell you being a mother can’t be an ultimate ambition in our life. We have so many other things to do. Even women who doesn’t want to be a mother is forced to bear child and is called inhuman or emotionless.
Men are not pressurized that way or probably they are brought up to repress their feelings or keep it to themselves. Because, they must be feeling the same pain but trying to be a strong and chivalrous lest they be taken not that much of man as they are supposed to be.
Well, whatever problems we may have, we should not stop living our life. Don’t keep on postponing your vacation or take your career and relationships for granted. This is something I would totally agree with because I can see some people doing it for some unforeseen future. Its good to be optimistic but that’s of no use if you can’t live your present.
Amazing post, Punam. Its very difficult to put such issues in words if one has never been through it. Oh btw guys, don’t forget to check out Punam’s homemade talcum powder.
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