Stephen King advises to write with honesty and let the vulnerability of the author shine in the writing. I truly believe this is the hardest step for any writer to overcome.
Writing is a task which requires you to unburden and pour out your soul. However, for most people, although we are comfortable showing some parts of ourselves, we would love to keep the rest hidden away.
I have been battling with this struggle for years now. Whenever I start with a blank screen, words appear out of thin air when I am in the flow. The moment I step into the task consciously, I lose my memory, the castle I have built in the head suddenly vanishes and I am left gasping at the empty air trying to piece the article back together.
As soon as the process of writing becomes intimate, I back out. I do not want to reveal those thoughts to the world, I want to lock them behind the strongest wall, barred with huge chains and padded with a giant lock. Showing myself, revealing my innermost thoughts, laying down my fears and my dreams is frightening. It gives you, the reader, power over me.
Then comes the perpetual lurking fear of not being good enough – for others, and, before that, for my own self. I am my harshest critic. Before I can convince others of my worth, I need to convince myself.
When one struggles with such despair and such judgement, it is impossible to carry on. I have done everything in my power to overcome these insecurities and I failed every single time. Yet, the desire does not abandon me. It has stayed with me for over 15 years. The foundation I had laid back then has survived through all the ups and downs in my life. Yet with time, the desire to write and the fear of backlash just got stronger.
Finally, following yet another failure, I am back to writing and publishing regularly since this August. I am proud to add this article, the one you are reading currently, is the third post I published this month. Following King’s advice in part, I have put in my fears here, most I still leave for another time. And, I will see you next week with yet another piece of my soul.
Staying Consistent, Swathy and Sky
Leave a Reply