Today I am in no mood for writing a beauty post. Somehow, the inspiration is still elusive 🙁 I have so long a list of things to accomplish and I feel so lazy to do anything! Anyways, leaving my rantings aside, I would like to talk about a friend of mine who is going through a bit of rough patch.
No, I am not going to reveal any personal details but what she is going through resonates so deeply with the so-called traditions and all blah blah that it makes me wonder what traditions really are? So, without further ado, lemme start her story.
Her marriage got fixed with a guy whom her parents selected. She and the guy liked each other and before formal affirmation, they had spent a lot of time on phone calls and met without informing the family. That is all ok. And, small small incidents happen in every family!
But, the highlight came when the MIL went with her daughters to a boutique and totally negated the reception dress designs already instructed by the bride. And, without informing anyone!!
Then, she went to the bride’s house and asked to be shown all the jewellery bought by her. And, expressed her frank opinions and if you haven’t got the drift, she was bluntly rude! For which, my friend could not control her anger and blasted back!
Whatever followed was not really pleasant and my friend received some warnings from her future MIL akin to the saas-bahu sagas made famous by Ekta Kapoor. I just was wondering why is the concept of arranged marriages and dowry and status and what not, given so much importance in front of the girl and her nature and her education and her values!
Is not the girl a human being who should be treated with respect instead of a prize or an item to be displayed? What was my friend’s fault? She just wanted to buy things and wear things which she likes without being judged for everything! Why is it that the bride is always looked with so much curiosity and unless she is mindblowingly beautiful, is judged for whatever small step she takes!
Or, is it just the chemistry of IL’s and the bride which shall never improve on Earth? Why is not a girl allowed to get married without any stress and tensions? As it is, marriage is a life-altering decision and its not like she is gonna be married ever again so why not leave everything on her?
Its just sad to see how stressed my friend looks and its no where near the glowing-bride rosy picture! I wish people from the older generation realize that ultimately marriage is a joining of two people and happiness should be the ultimate outcome.
What do you say? Have you seen anyone going through almost same scenario or have you been through one? Do you think its the bride’s fault or should the MIL’s be more restrained?
PS: Ok, don’t hate me for the cartoons! They were just too good to be ignored 😀
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Swati, it is our thinking that happiness should be the ultimate outcome. Its so simple and so true! But the fact is that in an arranged marriage, many a times, no one is thinking about the happiness of the future couple; it is all about, status, how the marriage ceremony will be, who will wear what and such things. And after marriage, it is about one upmanship – from either the bride’s or MIL’s side, or both.
No, India is not modern. If you mean from clothes perspective, or Bollywood, or superficial things, yes we are modern. But when it comes down to looking at actual qualities in a marriage, many arranged marriages are still fixed based on money and status, and sometimes looks.
And what makes me sad is that while many from our generation think as you do (and that too only urban areas), in rural areas and in quite a bit of urban India, thinking is still archaic. Till this does not change, India will not be modern or progressive. And this is why rapes are so prevalent in our “modern” country.
hey Rosh…yup you are right. we have not yet left the old thinking. i wish things get better with our generation at least. its high time that these kind of small issues stop being made a big fuss about!!! i don’t really expect MIL and DIL’s to get on well together but at least they can both have healthy respect for each other!!
omg i just loved this post .. but you know its really difficult to change il.. they are always nagging and think they r d best .. loved your images ..
hey Punam…haha…the images are really funny 🙂
yeah, i think things will take time to change!